Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Young People and Sex

FROM GOOD MORNING AMERICA: A revealing new survey of young people talking about their sex lives. It's surprising how much 18-29 year olds *don't* know about sex... and how much of what they think they know is wrong. Dr. Richard Besser has more on the story.

DR. BESSER:"The first thing I want to talk about is the talk. How many of you had a sex talk with your parents at some point?"
( All hands raise)

Chelsea Biemiller, 21
"I remember I was about 13 or 14. And her version of the talk was basically, The first time you have sex, it will hurt. It will be painful. It will be scary. And I want you to promise to come and tell me before you do anything."

O'Niel Anderson, 21 "We've done-- we've had the talk. It's pretty awkward havin' a conversation with your mom, you know?" Agron Kovangji, 20 "I was about 14. And my mom said, "If you have sex, wear a condom." And that was basically--"

DR. BESSER:"That was the talk?"
Agron: "Yeah."
DR. BESSER: Did she talk about where you could get condoms, or how you could-- protect yourself?
Agron: "Yep. School, hospital, clinics, all that."

Agron's experience may not be the norm -- a recent study by UCLA / Rand Center for Adolescent Health found 70 percent of teen boys reported they had not discussed how to use a condom or other birth control methods.
Another forty two percent of teen girls reported that they had not discussed the effectiveness of birth control with their parents.

DR. BESSER:"Why is it that some women who don't want to get pregnant-- have sex without using contraception?

Chelsea Biemiller, 21
"I think it's a lot about the short term. Thinking in the short term of this passionate moment, we can act in this way, without thinking about the long term. That this has very long term possible consequences."

DR. BESSER:"A new study out that shows that while most young adults believe that pregnancy should be planned, not all young adults are using contraception all the time. Does that surprise you?

Lia Glynia, 28
"It doesn't surprise me. I don't think people think about it that way."

Alexis Triado, 29
"sex is glorified. Like in TV, movie, and like music videos. Like you watch Gossip Girl, you know, they're not like, wait, let me put a condom on. And then they-- they just like have sex and it's so romantic and passionate. So, it's not really a message--"

DR. BESSER:"You're not seeing that behavior modeled."


Lia Glynia, 28
"I think so many of us want these movie moments of like, "You complete me or you say the right thing."

Shante Gordon, 32
"Before you even-- you're in that moment. You need to talk about it with your partner. Listen, if we're gonna do this--what are we-- are we gonna use the condom. Are we gonna just rely on the pill? I don't want a child. You don't want a child. Well, then what do we need to do to make sure that we don't have a kid."

Chelsea Biemiller, 21
"I think you would be hard-- hard pressed to find any person in their 20s that hasn't had some kind of sexuality scare. Be it a pregnancy or STDs or something like that. Because you are gonna make mistakes, you really are. You can't be 100 percent perfect every time. So, you really just have to-- just have to take care of yourself."

So what is the right thing to say to your teenager about sex? I guess you almost have to go into detail about how/where to get birth control. I would assume most teens who are having sex or thinking about aren't admitting that to their parents. That will be a tough conversation in my future. And do both parents have the talk or just one? And if I have all boys, does my husband need to be the one who talks? I wonder if that makes a difference.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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