Cyber Bullying

It seems like it's easier for people to be mean to someone by writing it down than by saying it to their face. I wonder if that's why internet bullying with kids is becoming such a big issue.

The Illinois State Police Department and iSAFE, an internet education tool, told my television station, WHOI, 42 percent of kids have been bullied online. State police reported 14 cases of cyber stalking involving kids under 18 in the last year. It is turning into a big problem. And with more kids on the internet for longer amounts of time, it is bound to get worse. I was watching my four-year-old play a game on sprout online today thinking he could be getting bullied by someone over the internet in just a few years. (I'm still amazed he know how to use the mouse!)

High school aged kids seem to see the most bullying.Fifteen-year-old Bianca Kanm has her own profile on the social networking site myspace. Bianca said, "It was really just so I could keep in touch with all my friends, but pages like these bring about all sorts of unwanted problems including bullying. People say some of the worst things about people so everyone else can get involved and it starts all sorts of drama."

Biance said people say things they wouldn't say in person, "They get this sense of confidence like they can say whatever they want, do whatever they want ."

The website stop cyber bullying has tips for handling this situation:

Preventing cyberbullying
Educating the kids about the consequences (losing their ISP or IM accounts) helps. Teaching them to respect others and to take a stand against bullying of all kinds helps too.

How can you stop it once it starts?
Because their motives differ, the solutions and responses to each type of cyberbullying incident has to differ too. Unfortunately, there is no "one size fits all" when cyberbullying is concerned. Only two of the types of cyberbullies have something in common with the traditional schoolyard bully. Experts who understand schoolyard bullying often misunderstand cyberbullying, thinking it is just another method of bullying. But the motives and the nature of cybercommunications, as well as the demographic and profile of a cyberbully differ from their offline counterpart.

What is the school's role in this?
When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for cyberbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student's free speech right.

What's the parents' role in this?
Parents need to be the one trusted place kids can go when things go wrong online and offline. Yet they often are the one place kids avoid when things go wrong online.
iSAFE has a free internet training program for kids and parents on what to do toprevent cyber bullying.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Kids and Stress

Have you every noticed your kids seem to get a little anxious when there's a change, like school starting back up? I really think my 4-year-old gets stressed out. I know I do when I have a busy day. How much of that rubs off on our kids? A survey by Parenting Magazine says most parents feel like they are stressed out more than their parents were. The survey looks at things like school shootings, terrorism and Global Warming.

Dr. Michele Borba gives these tips for de-stressing our kids:

1. Tune in to your child’s worries. Start by observing your child a bit closer to see how he handles stress. Each child copes differently, but how does your kid deal with pressure? Does he have difficulty concentrating or is he excessively irritable? Does she react fearfully to sudden noises, revert to immature behavior patterns, act out or have tantrums or nightmares? If you can identify how your child generally handles stress, you’ll be able to tune into it before it mounts to the boiling point, and you'll be able to help him find ways to reduce it.


2. Monitor the “fear factor.” Don’t assume that, because your kid is older, news events don't affect him. A Time/Nickelodeon study found that preadolescences said that those TV news bulletins that interrupt regular programming were especially disturbing. They also admitted being even more anxious if a parent wasn’t there to help explain the event to them. If your kids do watch the news, watch with them to answer their questions. And take that TV set out of your kid’s bedroom! You can’t monitor it in there (My son runs to tell me every time there is a bad guy on T.V. because he knows watching them makes him have nightmares! Jen)(46 percent of parents on this survey admitted that their kids do have a TV in their bedroom).

3. Keep yourself strong. The Parents Magazine survey found that moms and dads were far more stressed today than their own parents were. Is there one thing you can change about your daily habits that might help you reduce that stress? Don’t expect to be able to help allay your kids’ stress levels until you've found a way to keep your own in check. Are you really watching what you eat (and reducing anxiety-increasers such as caffeine and sugar), exercising, getting enough rest, seeking the support of friends, or spending a quiet moment alone? Parenting Priority #1: Keep yourself strong so you can take care of your kids.
4. Cut one activity. Just one! The survey found that the vast majority of parents didn’t feel they had enough time to be with their kids. So take a long, hard look at that schedule. Is there one thing you can cut each week that, in the long haul, won’t make that much difference? The book club, the violin lessons (your kid hates anyway), cooking the “gourmet dinner” every night. Your kids mirror your behavior and will be calmer if you are calmer.
5. Pass on good news reports. (We often have "good news" reports after the weather forecast on HOI)Draw your child’s attention to stories of heroism and compassion – those wonderful simple gestures of love and hope that people do for one another (that are always on the back page of the paper). Find those stories in the newspaper and share them with your child. You can also encourage your kids to watch for little actions of kindness they saw others do and report them at the dinner table. Many families call those “Good News Reports.” It’s important to assure your children that there’s more to the world than threats and fear. Your actions can make a big difference in helping to send them that message.
6. Do stress-reducing activities as a family. I know your time is tight. But maybe you could find a way to reduce stress with your kids. Anxiety is an inevitable part of life, but one of the most important things you can do as a parent is to help your child learn to cope with pressure. Walk to school with your kids. Join a health club with your teen. Do yoga with your daughter. Go biking riding with your preschoolers. Push your baby in a stroller as you walk.

Standford University is researching stress and how it relates to kids.

Kids Health looks at how stress impacts kids depending their age. My baby gets stressed when I leave the room. My four-year-old gets stressed when I leave him alone at preschool. A teenager gets stressed when he/she doesn't fit in. According to this article, it's the same stress, it just manifests itself differently. And this part was interesting:

"Your child's stress level may be intensified by more than just what's happening in his or her own life. Does your child hear you talking about troubles at work, worrying about a relative's illness, or fighting with your spouse about financial matters? Parents need to be careful how they discuss such issues when their children are near because children will pick up on their parents' anxieties and start to worry themselves."

Stressing out your kids is something you kind of know how to avoid, but daily life sort of gets in the way. Sometimes we are going to have issues with money and say things we shouldn't in front of this kids. I will take this article as a friendly reminder not to do that!

What stresses out your kids?

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Safe Baby Bottles?

Have you heard all the buzz about avoiding certain plastic baby bottles? It kind of goes along with the "Chemicals in Baby Products" post from earlier this week. Some environmentalists say bisphenol A and phthalates found in many plastic baby bottles can be harmful to our babies. They say the chemicals are released when the bottles are heated.

I saw this story on USA Today that actually tells us which bottles some moms consider safer. The BornFree baby bottle is the one getting the most attention.

Here's the part of the article I found interesting:

It's(BornFree) made from a plastic five times as expensive as the one routinely used for baby bottles. It has to be shipped all the way from Israel. And its retail price — $9.50 — is about triple that of a conventional bottle.

It's also a big seller in stores catering to parents who want the safest possible environment for their babies, stores where items labeled "bisphenol A-free" and "phthalate-free" line up next to the cloth diapers and breast pumps.

Here's a list of the bottles I compiled from USA Today:

• BornFree baby bottle contains no chemicals.
• Adiri Natural Nurser contains no chemicals.


• Medela bottles have always been bisphenol A-free.


• Evenflo has marketed a glass baby bottle since the era when all baby bottles were glass, but its plastic bottles contain the chemical.


• Gerber sells several bisphenol A-free bottles, including its Clear View, Fashion Tints and Gentle Flow lines.


• Playtex Nurser System disposable liners also do not contain the chemical.
  

Small companies focusing on baby bottles without bisphenol A are doing a brisk business. BornFree went on sale in the USA last year, and the Adiri Natural Nurser made its debut this summer. Adiri can "barely keep up with demand" and ran out of its smallest bottles just after their launch in August, says Sarah Eisner, vice president of sales and marketing. "We don't want to say all other bottles are evil. You have this brand-new life, so why not start out with materials you know aren't harmful?"

The chemical industry has responded quickly to the threat to its market share. The American Chemistry Council, through a complaint filed with the Better Business Bureau, forced BornFree to change its marketing this year. The company used to pitch its bottles as a safer alternative but was ordered in February not to claim its products were more child- or eco-friendly.

There is an entire website dedicated to telling us bisphenal A is harmless.

Here's a glimpse of what it says:

"For decades, polycarbonate plastic has been safely used to make baby bottles and reusable water bottles. The safety of these products has been supported by numerous science-based safety evaluations of bisphenol A that have been conducted by independent government and scientific bodies worldwide.

For example, recent evaluations by the European Food Safety Authority and NSF International both provide strong support for the safety of polycarbonate bottles. In spite of this strong scientific support, numerous myths, misinformation and scare stories about polycarbonate bottles continue to circulate. Several new studies have carefully examined these myths and provide additional strong support for the safe use of polycarbonate bottles."

I use the Medela bottles, mainly because I'm still nursing and those fit on the breast pump. Convenience is key in my household!

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Raising Independent Kids

I have been struggling with what I can do now to ensure my boys are independent, capable adults. I don't know what the statistics are, but it seems like boys have a harder time growing up and becoming independent adults. At least that seems to be the trend with family and friends I know.

This is what I found from newsforparents.org: (By the way, I just formed a partnership with the website's founder Dr. Debbie Glasser. She has some great information for us.)

Close Families Raise More Independent Adults

You're already 25 and you still live with your parents. You're 26 and you still bring your laundry take home food from your mother. Don't worry; new research at the University of Haifa found that, contrary to common belief, young adults who maintain a close or moderate relationship with their parents exhibit greater independence in their personal lives than those who have a distant relationship.

In her research, Dr. Irit Yanir evaluated how a parent-child relationship is connected to one's ability to fulfill society's expectations in terms of settling down and establishing an intimate relationship. Dr. Yanir conducted in-depth interviews with psychologists, parents and young adults between the ages of 23-27. An additional 100 families (father, mother and child) completed 300 surveys as part of the study.

According to the researcher, a close relationship with parents is one in which children talk with their parents often and regularly spend time together (eating meals together, for example), and one in which a child feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and experiences with his parents. The researcher differentiates between connectedness and relationship-orientation, which refers to the youth's need to satisfy his parents and fulfill their expectations. A connected offspring may share with his parents and solicit their advice, and still make independent choices and decisions.

"An independent young adult is one who exhibits independence not only in his day-to-day life but also in the emotional sphere, and who makes his way in life with emotional and intellectual autonomy," she explained.

While a close relationship is often viewed as a sign of dependence, the research results show that those with close relationships with their parents were more financially self-sufficient, more independent in their day-to-day lives, professionally stable, felt more mature and were more likely to be involved in a stable intimate relationship.

Those who maintained distant relationship with their parents and tended to make choices out of a need to rebel against their parents' expectations were less independent into their late 20s. "The research found that following adolescence, the familial connection is an important factor in forming one's identity and living an independent life. It seems that not only can independence and closeness exist together, but they actually flourish together," summarized Dr. Yanir.

This theory doesn't exactly hold true in the situations I know. Some of the young men are extremely close to their parents. However, at least it gives us moms something to go on. I'm sure it doesn't hurt to have a close relationship with your kids.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Boy trapped in Washing Machine

I often worry about my four-year-old son getting into something he shouldn't. He knows better, but he is adament he can do everything by himseld. That includes using knifes and scissors.

When I saw this story on CNN I thought I should share it with you as a reminder we need to keep a close eye on our little ones.

A four-year-old Ohio boy was rescued after he became temporarily stuck in the family washing machine.

The parents of 4-year-old Donivan Hasseman found their son literally stuck in the washing machine Sunday at their home in Dover, Ohio. His mom said, "My oldest son came up and told me mom Donivan's head is stuck in the washer."

The boy's dad attempted to free his son, however, was not able to without professional help. His dad said,""His one leg was bent underneath him, his stomach was against this and his back was completely, totally compressed against the agitator. I ran upstairs and got a crowbar."

Local firefighters soon arrived and used the jaws of life-literally disassembling parts of the unit to rescue the boy. Authorities said Donivan did not sustain any significant injuries during his ordeal.

My son loves to switch the laundry loads and gets so mad when I offer to help him. I am glad this wasn't my story, but it easily could have been.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Preventing Infertility

I think the following information about conception may be helpful after getting this comment from a newsanchormom.com reader:

"There are many doctors who disagree with doctors saying women over 35 will have a much harder time becoming pregnant and maintaining a pregnancy. There are many physicians who believe that, if older women are healthy, there is a lesser risk in becoming pregnant than some believe."-Ms. PH

I think the blog post Ms. PH is referring to "Older Parents" is saying women have fewer eggs as they age, not that they will definitely have a hard time getting pregnant. The older the woman, the fewer the eggs, the less likely she is to become pregnant. However, this is just in general. One woman who is 35-years-old may have no eggs. Another who is 40-years-old may have plenty of eggs.

That's why I thought I would post this story from a health company called Medstar. It is about a test you can take to find out how many eggs you have left.

Fertility Forecaster:

Early research shows a Fertility Forecaster that tests AMH or antimullerian hormone is about 70 percent accurate in predicting how much time you have left to conceive a child.

Some physicians are offering the blood that appears to be an indicator of ovarian reserve, or the number of follicles that are capable of maturing into eggs. Small studies suggest AMH can be good indicator of egg quality. The test may be helpful for doctors who want to predict a woman’s response to FERTILITY drugs. It may also help women decide whether they should consider trying to conceive sooner rather than later.

Fertility Specialist, Kenneth Gelman, M.D., of Infertility & Reproductive Medicine in South Broward, FL, says while the test is promising, large-scale studies are still needed to confirm its usefulness and accuracy. He recommends using the test in conjunction with current assessments of fertility, factoring in age and using ultrasound to count the number of eggs in the ovary and measurements of reproductive hormones. Gelman says the test costs about $250 and is not usually covered by insurance.

Female Infertility :

Infertility is the inability to become pregnant after one-year of unprotected intercourse. According to the Hormone Foundation, about 3 million couples in the U.S. are infertile. In 40 percent of cases, the problem is with the woman. Male factors are involved in about 30 percent of infertility. For 20 percent of couples, it is caused by a combination of problems in the woman and man. In 10 percent of couples, the cause is unknown. There are several factors that can increase the risk of infertility in a woman. About 40 percent of cases of female infertility are caused by ovulation problems. Imbalance of hormones, pituitary tumors, excessive body weight or severe underweight can cause problems with the release of a healthy egg. Infertility can also be caused by thyroid problems, polycystic ovary disease, excessive use of alcohol, use of certain drugs, damage to the fallopian tubes, uterine polyps, endometriosis, fibroids, adhesions or uterine abnormalities.

Age as a Factor in Female Fertility:

For women, the chance of becoming pregnant declines with age. A healthy 30-year-old woman has about a 30 percent chance per month of becoming pregnant. By 40, the monthly chance of becoming pregnant drops to 5 percent. In fact, the American Society of Reproductive Medicine estimates 29 percent of women 40 to 49 are infertile. One of the problems older women face is a decline in healthy eggs. Females are born with all the eggs they ever produce. Many of those eggs die off naturally, so the supply dwindles with age. When a baby girl is born, she has one to two million eggs. By the time she reaches puberty, the number of eggs in the ovaries is down to about 400,000. Each month, hundreds of eggs will begin to mature. But only about one or two of them will survive to maturity for release during ovulation. As a woman ages, egg quality begins to decline. In addition, after 35, declining hormone levels can lead to less frequent ovulation. Occasionally, a woman may go through a menstrual cycle where an egg is not released.

Predicting Fertility:

The National Center for Health Statistics reports there were more than 4 million births in the U.S. in 2003. The number of births to women in their twenties was down one percent from 2002. But the number of births for women in their thirties increased by four percent. For women in their forties, the increase was five percent. As more women delay having their first child, many are facing questions about their ability to conceive. While tests are available to directly observe the numbers and quality of male sperm, there is no direct method to verify the numbers and quality of remaining eggs. Doctors can make a judgment of FERTILITY based on a woman’s age, health, menstrual history, measures of hormones associated with ovulation, and images or biopsy of reproductive structures.

AUDIENCE INQUIRY:
For general information on infertility: American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, public website, http://www.medem.com
American Pregnancy Association, http://www.americanpregnancy.org
American Society for Reproductive Medicine, http://www.asrm.org
The Hormone Foundation, http://www.hormone.org
NCIID (The InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination, Inc.), http://www.inciid.org
RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, http://www.resolve.org

Chemicals in Baby Products

Here's the latest from the Associated Press:

A new study concludes baby shampoos, lotions and powders could expose infants to chemicals linked to possible reproductive problems. The small study published in the journal Pediatrics says elevated levels of the chemicals were found in the urine of babies after the products were applied to them.

Chemicals called phthalates (thowl-ates) are under attack from some environmental groups. They aren't limited by the federal government, but the state of California and some countries have restricted their use. Animal studies show the chemicals can cause reproductive birth defects, but human scientific evidence is lacking.

The chief scientist for the Personal Care Products Council questions the report. He says the chemicals could have come from diapers or other sources. The government says there's "no compelling evidence" the chemicals pose a safety risk.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says the health effects in humans are uncertain.
"Although several studies in people have explored possible associations with developmental and reproductive outcomes (semen quality, genital development in boys, shortened pregnancy, and premature breast development in young girls), more research is needed," a 2005 CDC report said.

According to the Olympian on-line:

"The researchers measured levels of several phthalates in urine from diapers. They also asked the mothers about use in the previous 24 hours of baby products including lotions, powders, diaper creams and baby wipes.

All urine samples had detectable levels of at least one phthalate, and most had levels of several more. The highest levels were linked with shampoos, lotions and powders, and were most prevalent in babies younger than 8 months."

Yikes! I am glad I am bad about putting all the creams and products on my baby. I absolutely love the scents, but am usually in a rush and don't bother. But who knows if they're really harmful. I'm sure there are strong views on both sides of this issue.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Alcohol and Pregnancy

Did you have a glass of wine when you were pregnant? This seems to be a hot button issue right now. ABC News ran an article on its website that is bringing up the debate. According to the

American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, you should NOT have a casual glass of wine while you're pregnant-no exceptions. However, some doctors say we're going too far with all the things we can't do when we have a growing fetus inside us. Why do doctors have differing opinions on this topic? Probably because there are no or very few studies looking at the effects of an occasional glass of wine, sushi, soft cheese and uncooked deli meat on pregnant women. Who would want to be the guinea pig in those studies? "Sure, I'll do something that could be potentially harmful to my baby for your study." I can't imagine a parent saying that.

According to the ACOG:

"When you are pregnant, the baby inside you is exposed to what is in your bloodstream. A little bit of alcohol may not affect you, but it may hurt your baby. Alcohol quickly reaches the fetus through your bloodstream. It crosses the placenta to the baby. In adults, the liver breaks down alcohol. Your baby's liver is not yet able to break down the alcohol. Thus, its effects are more harmful to the baby."

What can happen to your baby if you drink during your pregnancy?

• Miscarriage


• Preterm labor


• Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) (small baby)


• Heart Defects


• Learning problems


• Speech problems


• Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (short height, low weight, small head, abnormal facial features, club foot, heart defects, ear infections, vision problems, dental problems)
  

Will a couple of glasses of wine in your second or third trimester cause any of the effects listed above? Most doctors say probably not. But the thing is, they just don't know how much is too much. So some of them say a drink every once in awhile is fine. Others say absolutley no alcohol.

So what do you think? Did any of you or your wives have a glass of wine or a drink while pregnant?

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Vegetarian Kids

My son has vegetarian tendencies!

He said this to me after a family gathering, "Momma, Great grandma showed me the turkey's heart. Why do we cut up turkeys and eat their hearts? That's sad, " he said to me. "And what about the turkeys at the Farm Park(which is little petting zoo)? Does someone cut them up and eat their hearts?"

Oh my, this sounded awful to me! I told him those turkeys at the Farm Park are for the kids to see. They do not get cut up. Some turkeys we do eat, but that's how we get protein. Then I told him some people don't eat meat. They're called vegetarians.

So if your kids have vegetarian tendencies and refuse to eat meat at some point, here's what I found on the topic.

According to keepkidshealthy.com, "If well planned, a vegetarian diet can provide all of the nutrients that your child needs to be healthy. In addition, since vegetarian diets are generally high in fiber, low in cholesterol and low in saturated fats (all characteristics of a healthy diet), they may actually be more healthy than most American diets and may lead to a lower risk of obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure and Type II diabetes."

Here are the different types of vegetarians:

• semi or partial vegetarian: avoids red meat only



• ovo-lacto-vegetarian: avoids meat, seafood and poultry, but does consume milk products and eggs



• lacto-vegetarian: avoids meat, seafood and poultry and eggs, but does consume milk products



• ovo-vegetarian: avoids meat, seafood and poultry and milk products, but does consume eggs



• vegan: avoids all foods that contain animal products, including meat, seafood and poultry, milk products and eggs

Keepkidshealthy.com also has an easy to understand look at what your child might be missing if he/she stops eating meat:

• Energy/Calories Vegetarian diets may have less calories than diets that include meat and dairy products. Although it isn't necessary to count calories each day, you should ensure that your child is receiving enough calories for their optimal growth. In general, if your child is eating a well balanced and varied vegetarian diet, is gaining weight and developing normally and is active, with a lot of energy, then he is probably getting enough calories.



• Vitamin B12 This vitamin is only absorbed from animal products, so your child will need to take supplements or eat foods that are fortified with Vitamin B12 (check nutrition labels), including fortified soy milk and some meat substitutes. Also, nutritional yeast as a great way to get B-12.



• Vitamin D This vitamin is present in fortified milk, egg yolks, and fish. Your body also makes Vitamin D when exposed to sunlight, so most children do not have problems with Vitamin D deficiency. If your child is not exposed to the sun very often, then you should consider Vitamin supplements or a soy milk that is fortified with Vitamin D.



• Iron In general, the absorption of iron from meat, chicken and fish is much higher, around 15-30%, than other sources, which have absorption rates of only about 5%. This means that even though some vegetables and fruits contain iron, it is usually not absorbed as readily as the iron from meats. Check the nutrition label to choose foods high in iron, choose foods that are fortified with iron (cereals, bread, rice, and pasta) and consider a vitamin supplement that contains iron.



• Calcium Calcium is a mineral that is mostly present in your child's bones. Having a diet with foods that are high in calcium to meet daily requirements is necessary for the development of strong bones. It is also an important way to prevent the development of osteoporosis in adults. Many vegetables contain calcium, especially broccoli, sweet potatoes, great northern and navy beans, and leafy greens. You can also give your child soy milk or orange juice that is fortified with extra calcium.



• Protein You can make sure that your child gets enough protein and amino acids by eating a good balance of grains, legumes, nuts and seeds, vegetables and fruits.



• Zinc Your child will need to take supplements or eat foods that are fortified with zinc to get enough of this important mineral, since the best sources of zinc are meat and yogurt. Zinc is also found in whole grains, brown rice, legumes, and spinach.

The Vegetarian Resource Group has more in depth information on vegan kids.

Have your kids ever said they don't want to eat animals? Let me know by posting a comment.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

Product Reviews

I have been asked to do several product reviews on this site. I don't know if there are ethics rules in the blogging world, so I think I should let you know I am writing as a journalist. I will do product reviews if I think the item could benefit newsanchormom.com readers. I will not give a good review just because someone sent me a product at no charge. I will just tell the truth.

That being said, I have a couple of interesting products on the way. One is a chair for older kids to keep them from getting up at the dinner table. The other is a guide to infant potty training. I told the owners of the products I seriously doubt they will work my kids, but I agreed to test them and I will let you know how it goes.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen