How to handle a bully

FROM CBS: (CBS) Jaylen Arnold knows how it feels to be different. He's had Tourette's Syndrome for most of his nine years. As CBS News correspondent Kelly Cobiella reports, it makes his body twitch even though his brain is telling it to be still. Most times Jaylen can handle it. Last February Jaylen's twitches got worse, much worse.

It started when the kids at a new school began to bully him. "What did they say," Cobiella asked Jaylen. "You're a weird kid," he said. "You should just go back to where you came from." "How did that make you feel?" "Really sad, like real sad."

"I made a Web site called Jaylen's Challenge.org. It's about stopping bullying and so far it's working," he said. Jaylen's father, Harold Arnold said, "The emails started coming in by the hundreds, and probably thousands and I said 'this thing is taking off.'" In fact, so many people were inspired by Jaylen's story, that schools across the country wanted him to talk to their students and teachers too. Jaylen's advice for bullies? "Sit down and stop bullying," he said. And before long, he caught the eye of Hollywood and actor Dash Mihok.

"I saw this kid with Tourette's and this beautiful, sweet, loving soul who was being absolutely incredibly brave and it really touched me," Mihok said. He was so touched that he flew out to meet Jaylen and lent his own star power to Jaylen's cause. Dash knows how hard life can be for Jaylen - because he's been through it. Dash grew up with Tourette's too. "To have someone inspire you to be who you are and be unapologetic about it," Mihok said. "It's beautiful."

In the seven months since Jaylen launched his Web site he's given out more than 4,000 wristbands that say "bullying no way," to students and even a few stars - including Leonardo DiCaprio. Jaylen said his big dream is to "stop bullying forever." "He has Tourette's to help other people," his mom Robin said His dad Arnold is, "super proud. He's the best kid." Jaylen can't change the way his body acts, but he's ok with that. He said he doesn't get picked on anymore, because "all my friends defended me."

I love this story because dealing with bullies is really tough. I find it hard to determine whether someone is bullying my kindergartner or he is just sensitive. And it seems like everyone has different advice. At this point, I tell him to tell the other kid he doesn't like it when he acts that way and he doesn't want to play with him anymore. Other parents I talked to say to tell my kid to hit him back. That sounds awful, but when your kid gets picked on, you may feel a little different about what should be done. How do you handle bullying?

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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Bullying

Can a four-year-old be bullied? My son woke up several times this week screaming. This is actually not a big surprise because he has night terrors. However, this week he was screaming, "No, don't hit me!" Red Flag! So I asked about what he played with his friend that day and he said pirates. O.K., I can see how he might be screaming, so I ignored it.
He didn't scream the next night. Then, he saw the same little boy and woke up screaming, "Don't hit me!" At this point, he's not playing with that little boy anymore unless I am home. I don't know what's happening, but it's scaring him and that's not good.

Stop bullying now gives some reasons why I shouldn't just let this go:

• It happens a lot more than some people think - Studies show that between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency, while 15-20% report they bully others with some frequency (Melton et al, 1988; Nansel et al, 2001).


• It can mess up a kid's future. Young people who bully are more likely than those who don't bully to skip school and drop out of school. They are also more likely to smoke, drink alcohol and get into fights (Nansel et al, 2003; Olweus, 1993).


• It scares some people so much that they skip school. As many as 160,000 students may stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied (Pollack, 1998).


• It can lead to huge problems later in life. Children who bully are more likely to get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. And 60% of boys who were bullies in middle school had at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24 (Olweus, 1993).

Here's what the experts suggest we do as parents:

• First, focus on your child. Be supportive and gather information about the bullying. Tell your child you are concerned about him or her and ask questions.


• Contact your child's teacher and/or principal. He or she will probably be in the best position to understand the relationships between your child and other peers at school.
• Ask the teacher to talk to other adults who interact with your child at school to see if they have observed students bullying your child.


• If you know your child is being bullied, take quick action. There is nothing worse than doing nothing, and bullying can have serious effects.

Now my son says his friend never hit him and he doesn't know why he was waking up screaming that. Go figure! I am still being very cautious!

-NewsAnchorMom Jen