Bullying:How are victims reacting?

So many parents have reached out to me throughout the years in search of an answer to stop their kids from being bullied. Either more people are reporting bullying or more kids are getting bullied. It is really hard for parents because when they step in at their child's school, there's a good chance their child will get bullied even more. I wish I had the solution.

FROM SCIENCE DAILY: Many wonder why bullies bully, but a new study looks at the other side of the equation: How do children respond to bullying and why? The answer, researchers say, may lead to more effective interventions to reduce the negative consequences -- and perhaps even the frequency -- of bullying.

Consciously or not, children tend to adopt one of three approaches, University of Illinois psychology professor Karen Rudolph said. "Some are focused on developing their relationships. They want to improve their social skills. They want to learn how to make friends," she said.

Others are most interested in "demonstrating their competence," she said. They may try to demonstrate their competence by enhancing their status or seeking approval from their peers. "These are kids who say: 'I want to be cool. I want lots of kids to like me. I want to hang out with the popular kids.' "

Or they may try to demonstrate their competence by avoiding negative judgments. "These are the kids who say, 'I'm not going to do anything that's going to draw negative attention, that's going to make me look like a loser, that's going to embarrass me,'" Rudolph said.

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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How to handle a bully

FROM CBS: (CBS) Jaylen Arnold knows how it feels to be different. He's had Tourette's Syndrome for most of his nine years. As CBS News correspondent Kelly Cobiella reports, it makes his body twitch even though his brain is telling it to be still. Most times Jaylen can handle it. Last February Jaylen's twitches got worse, much worse.

It started when the kids at a new school began to bully him. "What did they say," Cobiella asked Jaylen. "You're a weird kid," he said. "You should just go back to where you came from." "How did that make you feel?" "Really sad, like real sad."

"I made a Web site called Jaylen's Challenge.org. It's about stopping bullying and so far it's working," he said. Jaylen's father, Harold Arnold said, "The emails started coming in by the hundreds, and probably thousands and I said 'this thing is taking off.'" In fact, so many people were inspired by Jaylen's story, that schools across the country wanted him to talk to their students and teachers too. Jaylen's advice for bullies? "Sit down and stop bullying," he said. And before long, he caught the eye of Hollywood and actor Dash Mihok.

"I saw this kid with Tourette's and this beautiful, sweet, loving soul who was being absolutely incredibly brave and it really touched me," Mihok said. He was so touched that he flew out to meet Jaylen and lent his own star power to Jaylen's cause. Dash knows how hard life can be for Jaylen - because he's been through it. Dash grew up with Tourette's too. "To have someone inspire you to be who you are and be unapologetic about it," Mihok said. "It's beautiful."

In the seven months since Jaylen launched his Web site he's given out more than 4,000 wristbands that say "bullying no way," to students and even a few stars - including Leonardo DiCaprio. Jaylen said his big dream is to "stop bullying forever." "He has Tourette's to help other people," his mom Robin said His dad Arnold is, "super proud. He's the best kid." Jaylen can't change the way his body acts, but he's ok with that. He said he doesn't get picked on anymore, because "all my friends defended me."

I love this story because dealing with bullies is really tough. I find it hard to determine whether someone is bullying my kindergartner or he is just sensitive. And it seems like everyone has different advice. At this point, I tell him to tell the other kid he doesn't like it when he acts that way and he doesn't want to play with him anymore. Other parents I talked to say to tell my kid to hit him back. That sounds awful, but when your kid gets picked on, you may feel a little different about what should be done. How do you handle bullying?

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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Watch out for Bullies!

Have your kids ever been bullied? Would they tell you if they were? What is your advice? Do you tell them to fight back with words or do you tell them to ignore the other child? It's a tough subject to tackle because every situation is different. My almost five-year-old tends to be shy so I am prone to try and get him to stand up for himself when someone tries to verbally bully him. Of course, I don't want to encourage him to hurt someone. It's a tough balancing act.

Here's a story from CNN that brought this topic to mind:

A new school year is getting under way for millions of kids around the country. In today's health minute, here's some advice for parents whose children may be bullied.

Middle school principal Denise Magee hopes this school year will be different. The best case scenario for me as a local school principal? That we are bully proof, fully free of any bully incidents. That we are truly here with an academic focus: no fighting, no teasing, no name calling. Experts say bullying is not a rite of passage, as some people believe. They say it can have long-term consequences for a child. Kids who are bullied are at greater risk of physical symptoms, physical complaints, emotional problems, academic under-achievement and most of them start to try to find ways to miss school.

Psychologist Mark Crawford recommends parents step in after getting the facts. Make sure you're talking to them and encouraging them to talk to you. Let them know that some things just simply aren't okay and they don't have to put up with it. Magee has her own advice for parents. "I do not want parents to leave us out of the scenario. I want them to immediately contact us," said Magee. Magee is being pro-active and letting students at her school know that when it comes to bullying, she has a zero-tolerance policy.

Have your kids been bullied? What is your advice for parents? Will you encourage your child to fight back

-NewsAnchorMom Jen

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