Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Babies: Keep couples together or tear them apart

FROM BIG NEWS NETWORK.COM Melbourne, Feb 17 : Marital bliss may depend on your decision to have a baby, say psychologists. For many years, it was reckoned that the prescription for marital malaise was having a baby.However, now, two psychologists from the University of California at Berkeley have claimed that if both partners are equally pleased about a pregnancy - and careful not to backslide into traditional gender roles - most couples are satisfied in their relationship, reports the Daily Telegraph.

To reach the conclusion, Philip and Carolyn Cowan, who are also fellows with the Council on Contemporary Families, followed 96 couples for six years after their first babies arrived.Those who welcomed their children saw more positive feelings return at about 18 months. But those who were ambivalent or disagreed on the new addition - about one-third - continued to be caught up in tension.And all those couples were either separated or divorced by the time the child reached kindergarten.

"Given these findings ... it isn't wise for an eager spouse or would-be grandparents to pressure couples to become parents before both are ready," reported the Cowans, who will present their findings at the council's annual conference in April."In light of the long-term consequences ... the decision should not be rushed," they added.

I sound so sheltered saying this, but I can't think of any couple I know who had a baby even though they didn't really want to. Most of my friends planned the occasion and were ecstatic so I don't know if I am a good judge of this one. I think babies bring couples closer together!

-NewsAnchorMom Jen


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